"...every day confirms my belief of the inconsistency of all human characters, and of the little dependence that can be placed on the appearance of either merit or sense." I don't expect the person this is meant for to understand it, so I'll break it down. I'm not a piece of glass; I'm a person. And if you think you can look through me, just know that everything you worked for will crumble in your hands once others see you as I do. And I'll never have to say a word. You will destroy it all in the end.

This is the facebook post I was going to make, but I copy and pasted it here instead. The nice thing I can say about today is that I did not post this in a public place. The nice thing I can say about today is that I did not let out the scream bubbling up in my throat. The nice thing I can say is that I did not yell in my roommates face for ignoring me for almost two months solid. I did not say anything. I closed the door between the two of us so I didn't have to look at him anymore. I slammed it. I can deal with this feeling most of the time, but the rest of the time I get this overwhelming anger about it. I mean, I get anxiety when the guy comes in the door and I might have to face him as he stares right through me or refuses to make eye contact. Today I waved at him three times to say hello and he walked right by. Most days I'm relieved because he's a nasty person and I'm glad he doesn't talk to me, but then other days I'm pissed because we used to be friends and I have absolutely no clue what happened to make things this way. As a result I just stay in my room all the time and it makes me sad and depressed to be cooped up like that. The only escape I get is leaving the house and wishing I didn't have to go back. It's oppressive when you feel this trapped. My brain is on fire sometimes. I just don't know what to do.

So today's triumph is that I did nothing. I left the house. I sit in a coffee shop. I do my work. I try to forget it.